LIFE’S MYSTERIES- HOW DO YOU COPE WHEN WIFE AND SON PREDECEASE
YOU?
Gita and I were very happily married for 46 years when
Pancreatic cancer consumed her in 2018. My Blogs on the subject of “Chemo or no
chemo” say it all. Two years later, when I was recovering from my first loss, I
had to face the most unexpected and tragic loss of Samir, my 46-year-old son,
in a biking accident. He was a reasonably successful and well-loved
entrepreneur.
Within hours of his demise, the spontaneous out-pouring of
grief underlined the fact that he was much loved and respected; as much for his
human qualities of caring, empathizing, giving and bonding-as he was for his
ability to lead his team to achieve impossible tasks.
A copy of the Thinking poem that I presented to him in 1996 was on his study table. The poem ends with, “Life’s battles don’t always go, To the stronger or faster man, But sooner or later the man who wins is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN”
The second loss was heavier to bear given that Samir left
behind a young family of a devoted and doting wife and a 15-year-old boy and a 13-year-old
girl. Given the stringent restrictions of COVID 19, I was not expecting to see
a large gathering of people of all walks of life wanting to bid farewell to
him. In the event, they did. That he had touched so many lives in a short span,
was a revelation to me.
The best way to capture the mood, is to reproduce just a cross-section of Tweets that tell his story. Thereafter, I shall end this post with what I learnt about him after his departure, which made my heart swell with pride.
That his mother preceded him, made the pain a tad lesser. Had
the reverse been true, it would have been difficult to alleviate her sense of loss!
Small mercies, perhaps during a difficult period in life, but equally one of
life’s mysteries best left unresolved.
It was a few years ago when I was invited for a Leadership talk
with his team, that I noticed how well his team was bonding and performing. I concluded the session with great pride in the knowledge that human values mattered for QYUKI- his company. He
stood up almost instantly and said, “I have waited for over two decades to hear
that from my father.”
If I were to meet him today, I would just say that he achieved much more in his short span of life than I could ever have imagined -So much that I would have gladly made him my leader.
Happy Birthday and Au Revoir my son!
