Sunday 13 June 2021

IN MEMORIAM-SAMIR BANGARA (1974-2020)


It is now a year since you left us. A very loving family left behind perhaps rudderless, till they find their safety course to steer. I am just behind you as you can see. Awaiting my call in whatever manner that is ordained. When we join the Armed forces, we sign an open cheque to lay down our lives when the need arises. I went through a war 50 years ago. I was unscathed and lucky to be around this wonderful family of children and grandchildren. We have had our challenges; so essential in life for us to learn to be grateful for little mercies. We jointly learnt to look at a glass that was always half full. Never half empty. 

That you exceeded my expectations in putting people before profit and went on to tirelessly exhort and support those in need, has been well documented by the sheer grief-stricken outpouring of sentiments from a vast cross-section of people. But all this will be soon forgotten as that is the reality of life. One is honoured and felicitated because of the chair one occupies and rarely because of who one is. In your case, I am willing to lay a wager that you will be remembered for years to come for what you were and not what you achieved in professional and material terms. That is hardly a consolation for the family and people you left behind as abruptly as you did. But then, as was our inclination, a half-full glass, in this case, assumed that you were spared the mortification of being reduced to a vegetable after a crash, at the speeds that a 1000 CC motorbike propels you. Remember this was not the first crash. On 29 September 2019, you had a horrendous crash on the Budh circuit at NOIDA. It was well recorded by cameras on the track. It would have looked good in a theatre! You survived it with minor injuries and laughed it away.  

To an observer, it would appear stupid to continue a sport that is not the safest. I merely pointed out to you that with each passing year your reflexes inevitably slow down.  I could see your passion for the sport. No one understands it better than us in the Military. We too are exposed to danger even when carrying out routine training exercises. Countless Pilots have had accidents, some lost their lives during routine flying but no one stopped flying, for, it goes beyond the call of duty or just a  profession. 

In this clip you alluded to your passion. I had no answer when you challenged me. So, we did the next best thing, we punched each other in the stomach till someone called a truce and we rolled in laughter! Oh! how I miss those sessions. Your Mother who left us just two years before you and perhaps is now standing next to you never approved of our dispute resolution mechanisms! To alleviate the pain of her loss, you drove me 500 km to a Coffee estate where I was born. When I suggested that we could fly instead, to save your precious time, you promptly called it our bonding time. So it was, only I didn’t know it was our last journey together. But I am grateful for those few precious days. 

To underline what a service brat learns from his parents, I am attaching a 2-minute clip on what you said on my 70th birthday, five years ago. 


A practice we followed in service is not to give full marks to anyone. Of course, the boundaries have to be pushed until each reaches his limits. Excellence has no final boundaries and often it is a moving line. You knew that about me and so I could not get myself to say that your speech was par excellence. I left your best ever for my funeral.  Fate reversed the sequence of departure. So now I have to execute Plan B.... but I am just behind you as you well know. Au Revoir my son.

 

21 comments:

  1. Gut wrenching and yet inspiring. We're all behind you Cap'n in steering the ship through the rocks for Plan B...

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  2. Dear Suresh
    Memory Keeper treasure
    Warmly
    Affly
    rina barry

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  3. πŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌπŸ’ž Rani.

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  4. Thank you for sharing this amazing memory❤️ It’s hard, I know. Lots of love

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  5. An excellent eulogy of a son by his doting father. Didn't know Samir, but evidently he was a wonderful son, husband, father and a humane friend. He lived life kingsize by the seat of his pants, probably had the pilot's instinct. Driving you 500kms was a very touching incident. Sir, I'm sure he will be at peace, wherever he is, especially with the blessings of his well wishersΔΊ

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  6. Samir will always be remembered for who he was and the impact that he created for others

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  7. Profoundly evocative and deeply moving eulogy . Words are woefully inadequate to express your gutting loss. Samir will be fondly remembered.πŸ™

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  8. Apparently Sir, destiny is not yet ready to encash the cheque you have signed... May be it expects more from you... like this wonderful tribute for example... Each one serves his time in this world... your son was at his passion when he bid adeu. Today you stand tall as a soldier who we love and admire, And may be you still have miles to go before you sleep... Yours, with great love and admiration, Nixon

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  9. Very lovely tribute for Samir

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  10. Dear Sir,
    The reminiscence and remembrance of Samir is a poignant reminder of the youthful spirit, a picture frozen in the past, of good times and of sharing. No words would ever measure the emptiness or the sorrow of his departure, his stay on this shore was but a short one, and much did he achieve in it! It is difficult to master grief, as we are always so unprepared, and the loss it just seems to come in an untimely manner, at an untimely hour. We wish you a continued healing, time being the greatest therapy.
    Regards
    Vineet Bakhshi

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  11. These words are gold, emotions are priceless
    - Joey

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  12. Uncle - your remembrance is so beautifully worded! Strange is the ways of the Lord. Amazing to see your strength shining through - a lifeline for those left behind. Hope Samir and Aunty continue to lend their support from above. With prayers for strength.. Anu

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  13. Such a touching tribute. So beautifully expressed. Om Shanti.

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  14. An eloquent tribute by a father on the loss of a son who left many of us regretting that we had not known him as well and, as much as we would have liked to. Samir has carried with him blessings of many whose lives he had touched during his lifetime. Easy rider....ride easy.
    Touched by your tribute, sir.

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  15. Dearest Suresh,
    What a magnificent write up;this time you have surpassed even yourself!!! Superb tribute, penned from the very depths of your heart!

    Such strikingly measured eloquence & choice of words made with surgical precision, on an occasion that can rank among the most melancholy in the life of a very brave father who is reeling under three almost back-to- back, immediate family bereavements in recent years, written for his only son, can not but remind one of Mark Antony's epic oration on the loss of Julius Caesar.


    Move over & make room, Willie, you've got company!!!

    _"There, then, was Samir, beloved son to Suresh & Gita, doting brother to Shondita, adoring husband to Avantika, iconic father to Raihan & Jahnavi, a super marvellous son-in-law to Deena & I and a helmsman nonpareil to Qyuki!_

    _A custom-made, template man in each of those roles in ways far, far more than just a few!_
    _*"When comes such another?!"*_ πŸ€”πŸ˜Ÿ

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    1. You have, as always, conveyed your thoughts so pithily but with all the sentiments that I could not have covered. I am so fortunate to be related to you. Many thanks.

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  16. Suresh, I have overcome my hesitation in intruding upon you, as I believe my aunt, Santa Balakriahnan (Beach Hotel, Kozhikode), to whom you were very special, would have urged me to reach out to you, on her behalf.
    In this world, there can be no harder farewell than that of a parent to a child. They say that it is the beautiful people who leave early.
    But then,your sadness has been three-fold, in a short span of time. Please accept my wishes of comfort as the memories well up, in your grief. Yamuna mbl:9940178431

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  17. Correction:Shanta Balakrishnan

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  18. Thanks Meera and Pradip.. for Sharing this heartfelt pouring of Suresh Bangara. There is celebration in the memory of his son.. Pain in the way fate dealt out to him the sequence in life in an unexpected way.

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  19. Thanks Meera and Pradip.. For Sharing the heartfelt out pouring of Suresh Bangara. There is celebration in the memory of his son... pain in the way fate dealt out to him the sequence of life in an unexpected way.
    Gayathri Ramachandran

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